Wearing your grief
Now please don't send me hatemail because I'm not saying that this woman or anyone else who's done this is wrong. What I'm doing is just asking why. What drives an individual to carry their grief around like that? Is she going to put that same tribute on every vehicle she drives from here on out?
The other trend is the crosses or other memorials on the side of the road where folks have died in automobile accidents. Folks tend these like graves. There's a spot in a curve here in Baton Rouge where apparently two people died in a crash and I'm assuming they wrapped the vehicle around the tree because the tribute is on the tree itself. There are always new flowers or windsocks and now there's some windchimes there.
I guess I just don't understand what purpose it all serves.
It's not that I don't know what it's like to feel intense grief. I lost my best friend to leukemia at age 15. I know what it feels like to sit at a grave and cry your eyes out and talk to that person as if they were right there. My beloved grandmother died in 1991 and hardly a day goes by that I don't miss her. It's still hard to think about her dying without tears welling up because we were very close. She died of a massive heart attack while picking pecans in her backyard. That house is still in our family but there's no cross or windchimes or windsocks out in the spot where they found her dead.
Maybe it's because I'm a wizard at internalizing things - at least that's what my therapist tells me. I just know that I couldn't carry it around with me each and every day, seeing that reminder every time I got into my vehicle or passed a particular spot. I feel for those who do because I fear their healing process may be stuck. Our hearts never truly mend when we lose someone that close to us. There always remains a hole that person left behind in our lives. But time does make it easier to carry on unless we become stuck in the grieving and refuse to let go. Every time I pass one of those tributes I say a little prayer - not for the one who died but for the one(s)left behind still grieving so publicly in hopes that they may one day find peace.