I should at least get points for coming up with something original
According to the link:
Salivary gland problems that cause clinical symptoms include:
Obstruction: Obstruction to the flow of saliva most commonly occurs in the parotid and submandibular glands, usually because stones have formed. Symptoms typically occur when eating. Saliva production starts to flow, but cannot exit the ductal system, leading to swelling of the involved gland and significant pain, sometimes with an infection. Unless stones totally obstruct saliva flow, the major glands will swell during eating and then gradually subside after eating, only to enlarge again at the next meal. Infection can develop in the pool of blocked saliva, leading to more severe pain and swelling in the glands. If untreated for a long time, the glands may become abscessed.
Special, isn't it?
Now I get to go see an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist next week to talk about removing this thing. The doc was totally shocked that I'm not having any pain. She said it would probably start soon. The removal of the danged thing sounds pretty painful to me. Happy freakin' 2006 to me!