Mid-Life Ramblings; Sanity Optional

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

It's Official - I'm a Dufus (or why I should have stayed in bed)

It all started yesterday afternoon. I had an appointment to be tested for allergies. I already knew I had allergies and knew several things that I was allergic to. I finally broke down and had the official test because my allergies have been getting worse these past couple of years. Currently I have a dry cough that just won't go away and it's allergy related and waking me up at night. Couple that with a constant nasal drip and you'll understand where I'm coming from.

So yesterday for nearly two hours I watched as a nurse injected me with allergens 85 times in both my upper arms. (Dix, I hope I didn't just make you pass out) When all was said and done I found out that I'm allergic to all the dust mites, all the molds, marsh elder and goldenrod, American elm, Virginia Live Oak (that's great for a girl who lives in Louisiana where this is the most prolific tree), Eastern Cottonwood, cockroach dust (may I just insert an Ewwwwwwww! here?), cats and dogs.

The dog allergy isn't a problem because both the Bichons and the Peke-a-poo are non-shedding, non-dander dogs therefore making them hypoallergenic. However, the cat is an issue. Here lately I've had to shoo poor Omar away when he's tried to curl up next to me in bed because he makes me cough. The nurse asked if I planned to get rid of the cat and I just glared at her. He's 16 years old for Christ's sake and I've had him since he was six weeks old. If he hasn't killed me by now I don't think it's going to happen. I did tell her that when he's gone we will not get another cat, at least for a while. It has less to do with my allergies than with being ready to live without cat fur all over the house and a stinky-assed litter box.

The other bad news is that since I'm allergic to all the molds, I need to watch my intake of aged cheeses!!, mushrooms!!, vinegar, sour cream!, beer, wine, brandy, gin, vodka, rum, and whiskey, ginger ale and root beer, meat or fish more than 24 hours old, sour breads and other foods made with yeast, soy sauce! and tofu, tea!!, chocolate!!!!!, dried spices and for some reason Coke!!! (but Dr. Pepper, Sprite, and Orange are ok??). I just had sushi for lunch dipped, of course, in soy sauce and danged if I didn't start coughing afterwards. Shit!

I now have to decide if I want to start taking allergy shots for the next three to five years. I guess it's all going to depend on what the insurance company will cover.

But wait - it gets better.

After all that lovely news, I was walking out to my car in the hospital parking lot and a friend of mine, who happens to work there passed, and honked at me. As I looked up, waved, and called "hello" to her, my right foot stepped off the sidewalk into a small hole, causing me to bust my ass on the sidewalk. Fortunately, I landed on my "good" knee rather than the "bad" knee I landed on at a different hospital a year ago in January. I skinned the top layer of skin off and bruised the hell out of it but I didn't manage to tear anything, thankfully. It's black and blue with a big red scrape and a bit swollen and I have a nice black and blue knot below the other knee where it hit the ground. I'm a bit sore from the jar but I'm ok. Nothing an ice pack and time won't heal.

But wait - there's more.

I leave there and drive the two blocks to Buffalo Wild Wings because it's trivia night and I'm meeting the group there. Now I happened to be wearing my only pair of jeans and they are at least four years old. With E in and out of jobs over the past few years, new clothes come only in emergency situations. I had noticed that the jeans were starting to wear out and actually had a little hole above the back left pocket. I'd ordered two new pairs on Sunday and they're due to arrive tomorrow. I figured that in the meantime I could wear them as long as I had a long shirt on. Back to BWW - Since I really had to pee, I ducked into the ladies' room. As I'm pulling those jeans back on, the button comes off in my hand. Double shit!! I dug around in my purse to see if I had a safety pin and of course I didn't. But I did have a keyring that had a screw opening very similar to this one that has amy eyeglass repair kit on it. Yep, you get the picture. I spent the rest of the evening playing trivia with my jeans held together by a keyring with an eyeglass repair kit dangling from it. Classy, huh? Thank God for the long shirt.

Life actually got better as the evening wore on. I managed to win the Mini Six game for the second week in a row and E won the Showdown tournament game with a very high score. We were on fire last night.

I began to believe that my dufusness was behind me until I went to pee this morning and realized I'd put my underwear on inside out. I swear to y'all I'm going to bed as soon as I get home.


  • At 2:46 PM, Blogger Romani Heart said…

    Lord have mercy!!!

  • At 3:07 PM, Blogger PissedOffPencil said…

    OMG! I know it's not polite to laugh but I just can't help myself. I can't help picturing you struggling with that keychain.

    *shocked* There's no mold in Vodka! What kind if stuff do they put into your liquer?

    Coke, on the other hand, tastes mold, especially if you're smoking menthols.

  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger Dixie said…

    Ohdearlord! I really did get woozy thinking about 85 injections! I'd have wet my britches!

    I didn't laugh about your jeans. I brayed like a damned donkey! Yes, you now owe me an arse kicking.

  • At 6:27 PM, Blogger butterflygirl said…

    We all have days like those. Hope things get better.

  • At 1:18 AM, Blogger Mr. Fabulous said…

    Holy cow! Hopefully you got all the bad luck out of the way for a while!

  • At 1:32 PM, Blogger Kim said…

    Lord, I can relate to the jeans. I FINALLY broke down and bought new ones last summer. I'm a chub and there was NO way I was wearing the low-rise. They just pushed my fat roll up into a really weird position. And made my underwear crawl.


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