Thanks! and please feel free to torture me again

I have to tell y'all - I'm not digging 45 so much. Since just after my birthday in December, I've had a series of issues with arthritis in my "good" knee and wound up with a case of shingles that really sucked. I just feel as if I'm falling apart all of a sudden. Of course, having abused my body all these years by carrying around all this extra weight around makes it all totally my fault.

Last week I went to see my doctor for my annual exam. She gave me the normal orders for my yearly mammogram. Then she asked me if I'd ever had a bone density test to which I replied no. So she added that to the menu of the original orders.

Today I went in for my tests. First stop - mammography. The tech was a very nice gal. She began the process of making me contort into odd positions just so she could squeeze my boobs between a large metal plate and a flat plastic pan. Oh fun! To accomplish all of this she had to get into my personal space several times. I wish I'd had my purse because the poor girl is a smoker and she was in dire need of a mint. Great - smashed boobs and cigarette breath in my face. Bleh!

Last stop - osteo. Having never had a bone density test before, I was unsure as to what I'd have to do. As I entered the room I saw a table equipped with a scanner and thought, "Cool, I'll get to lay down." Then my tech, she of the cigarette breath, began to explain how she was going to scan my arm. She placed a contraption on the table an showed me how I needed to place my arm at a 90 degree angle with the elbow flat against the back. The clencher was that I would have to bend to the level of the table. I'm 5'7" tall and that table was about 3 1/2' above the floor. Remember that arthritic knee I was telling you about? It really appreciated the deep knee squat I had to do and hold for about five minutes. I left wondering if they made the little old 80-year-old blue-haired ladies contort like this. Then I thought the little old 80-year-old blue-haired ladies are usually shorter than me so maybe it doesn't hurt them so much.

Come on 50! I am so looking forward to that first colonoscopy.

Psst! Girls, I know I'm grumbling about my tests but I can't stress enough how very important it is to have your annual girl tests. I'm a uterine cancer survivor. I might have found that cancer much earlier if I'd visited an ob/gyn sometime in the eight preceeding years. I learned a rough lesson all those years ago. Don't learn it the hard way like I did.