Mid-Life Ramblings; Sanity Optional

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Baton Rouge Traffic

A list that is, although funny, filled with truth.

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Batt'n Roodge.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Baton Rouge has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on.....and pray.

3. All directions start with, "Get on I-10"...which has no beginning and no end.

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive."

5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you WILL get rear-ended.

7. Hoo Shoo Too Road is a real one & can only be pronounced by a native.

8. Construction on I-12 is a way of life, a permanent form of entertainment, and a reason to avoid I-10 as well.

9. All unfamiliar sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh... we are in Denham Springs!"

10. If you actually see someone with their turn signal working, it is probably a factory defect.

11. All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs (and lavender Stratus') have the right of way.

12. Lots of streets mysteriously change names as you cross intersections--it's like the tide and LSU sports; just accept it.

13. When asking directions downtown, you keep your window rolled up and write your questions on a piece of paper.

14. A trip across town will take a minimum of an hour.

15. Don't carry money, jewelry, family, etc. on Plank Road.

16. The wrought iron on windows downtown isn't decorative.

17. If you leave one car length for every 10 MPH speed between you and the car in front of you, somebody will cut in.

18. Don't stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading."

19. For directions sake, you must know the difference between the "New" bridge & the "Old" bridge. Also you should know the difference between the "New" mall and the "Old" mall.

20. Anyone trying to get within 5 miles of the LSU campus on game day of an LSU Football game either does not live in Baton Rouge or has lost their mind.

21. Don't donate to 'Will Work For Food' sign holders at the red lights at the College Drive exits off the interstate. They own houses along Highland Road and in the Country Club of Louisiana.

22. Make-up should never be applied at home; one must put it on while driving to work.

23. Ditto for shaving; men must shave on their way to work.

24. One must speed up when it starts raining to get home before the idiots who don't know how to drive in rain get on the roads.

25. Be assured that when you see someone run a red light, make a right/left turn from two lanes over, throw something out the window,
weave from lane to lane, driving drunk -- there will be no police officer
in sight. They are all waiting for you to go 2 miles over the limit in a school zone to give you a ticket.

Enjoy your driving experience in Baton Rouge

1 Comments:

  • At 1:02 PM, Anonymous Kay said…

    It made me scream Friday afternoon!
    I think that it's even worse than Houston.

     

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